SEXUAL ABUSE

I THOUGHT IT WAS MY FAULT

My father used to touch me in a horrible way when mum was at work at night. I was 10 years old when it started. I felt so sick when I knew it was a night that mum had to work, worrying about what would happen. I was tens and stressing out all the time.

I was scared to tell anyone, I thought it was my fault too because I didn’t stop it. He used to say I shouldn’t tell anyone and that mum would kick me out if she found out. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want anyone at school finding out, because I felt like they all look down on me.

This has been going on for the last four (4) years. This year we had a health class, and someone came to our school to talk about abuse. I knew that what they were talking about was what was happening to me. At the end of the class I just sat there when the bell rang, I felt like my head was about to explode.  The teacher asked me if I was okay. I avoided the question for a while, but now it must have shown on my face. Then everything came out.

The school rang mum, she had to come in and meet with the student welfare co-ordinator. They told her what I had said. Then they called me in. I was terrified that she would blame me or not believe me. She looked totally shocked, asked me if it was true and I said it was.

It’s hard to remember what happen next, me and my brother had to go and stay at my auntie’s place, I have speak to a counselor about it, I haven’t spoken to my dad for a couple of months. This was the story of a young girl who has been abused for the past four (4) years.

What is Sexual Abuse?

Sexual Abuse referred to as molestation, is usually undesired sexual behaviour  by one person upon another. when force is immediate, of short duration, or infrequent, it is called sexual assault. the offender is referred to as a sexual abuser or molester.

No one in your family has the right to touch you in ways that make you feel uncomfortable. No one has the right to trick you, confuse you, or force you into doing sexual things. This is called sexual abuse. 

 Sexual abuse includes someone touching your private parts (e.g. breast, vagina, penis, anus) or making you touch theirs. It can also include rape.( e.g. putting a penis or another part  of their body into your vagina, anus or mouth), or other things that make you feel uncomfortable (e.g. making sexual comments about you or perving at you in a sexual way, making you watch them masturbate, rubbing their body against you in a sexual way, trying to tough kiss you, or making  you look at sexual pictures or videos).if any of these things have happened to you, it can make you feel really horrible. The first thing you should remember is that it is not your fault, no matter what. The abuser is always responsible for the abuse. It is very hard to know what to do when someone hurts you like this. It doesn’t make you a bad person, and you don’t deserve to be treated in this way.
 Unfortunately many children and young people experience sexual abuse it is against the law for anyone to treat you like this. Sexual abuse can be very confusing the person doing the abuse might be someone you trust or someone you usually have a lot of respect and trust for them. By treating you like this they have betrayed your trust in them. 

Often times the person who does it to you will tell you thing like:

 It’s normal

Don’t tell anyone

Is a secret

This will eventually make you feel frightened to tell anyone but there are things you can do, and people you can talk to, you don’t have to deal with this alone.

What to do if you have been sexually abused

Tell a parent or a trusted friend or an adult

Call the police

Seek medical support

Ask God for his Grace 

God loves you deeply and completely. The enemy loves it when you feel shame, condemnation, and self-loathing, but God’s Word says I am precious in God’s sight—accepted and valued (Jer. 31:3; Rom. 5:6–10; Isa. 43:4).

God saw my abuse and did not condone it. You do not have to stay silent or bury the pain and trauma. The Lord hates all wickedness, including the abuser’s sinful actions (Gen. 16:13; Ps. 11:5).

Pray for wisdom and entrust true justice to the righteous heart of God. He always has the last word He brings justice to the unrepentant and great mercy to the repentant (Ps. 103:6; 146:7; Jer. 17:10).

Forgive others because you have been so greatly forgiven. Bitterness will only make your pain worse and continue to wound others (Matt. 5:23-24; 6:14–15, 21–22; John 8:7; Heb. 12:15).

You can pray for your abuser’s change of heart and repentance. That your abuser will seek the Lord, turn from wickedness, and learn to live a godly life so that God will be glorified (Luke 6:28; Prov. 28:13).

You do not have to live in fear like a victim. Peace and victory come as you study and rest in who you are in Christ (Eph. 1:3–8; 2:10; Col. 2:9–10; 3:1–4; Rom. 8:31–39; Phil. 4:13).

Never be ashamed if you have been sexually assaulted. You will definitely get over it, you just might not forget it but that’s okay.

 Don't be Ashamed of your story you never know how it will inspire and encourage other.

Anytime you remember it, think about how great you are going to be in life.